My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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