If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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