lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
