Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
