Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
