I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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