I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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