if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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