The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
