I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She told me I should be a condom model.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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