That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
