In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I enjoy the company of your penis
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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