Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
