What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
