he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
