Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
