we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
