you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We named our party play list daddy issues
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize