Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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