My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
