I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
