My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
