Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
