Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
a search helicopter?!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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