ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
