Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
