You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
