god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
