Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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