I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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