just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
