It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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