Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
