I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
