I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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