K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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