she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
