I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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