I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
