Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
