well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
