I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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