Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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