That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
