Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
