Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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