wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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