Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
