I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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