I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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