Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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