Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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