thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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