I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize