life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
