i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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