You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize