this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you win again, gameday.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
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